Life is good

A lot has been going in for me recently, most of which I don't feel comfortable talking about at the moment on this blog.

May flowers 2014

But I'm struck by the fact that no matter what's going on, life is good.  Life is pretty amazing, in fact.  And I remain in awe (when I remember to be) that I'm here and that I have as many opportunities that I have.  Gratitude for all the opportunities that I was fortunate to experience.

Many local people complain about this past winter (it was a difficult winter).  And it's wonderful now that the winter is over, and at least here, it's firmly spring with flowering trees and warmer temperatures. So life is good.

I won!

It was earlier this week, but I won a Brodie! I'm so thrilled!

It was for this post last March about traditional marriage.

Thanks to everyone who voted!  There were lots of great entries (as always).

January update

It was cold last week.  While I've been one to ponder the cold in the past, this was colder than I've seen in awhile.

wine bottle 2014

We had a bottle of wine in our garage.  I noticed that it was frozen, but didn't take a photo.

Once it had warmed up (from -40 F) I went back to check on the bottle.  I found that the cork had popped, without a wine opener. FYI - frozen wine is not recommended, nor is leaving wine in your garage when it's freezing.

____________________________________________________
In other updates, my phone died.  I had wanted to wait a few months before getting a new phone.  I hadn't backed up my photos or contacts.  One day, I could no longer get it to respond when I typed on the screen.   I called customer service, to no avail.

So I have a new phone, which my kids have been asking me about for at least  a year.  I am not the type of person who needs to get the latest phone or gadget.  I suspect it's my midwestern values.  My goal, as I age, is to become more frugal, not cheap.  So having a working phone is important, but having an exciting phone for my kids is not.

I like my new phone, but I would have liked to get old photos and contacts from my other phone.  It's unfortunate that the company's policy is to delete all personal data on the phone when it arrives and to charge the customer to fix it.  I won't be shopping there again.
____________________________________________________

As a family, we got two games for the holidays.  I highly recommend both.  The first, Set, I first played at the family reunion with chanson.  It's not easy, but it's something both kids and parents enjoy.

The second, Rush Hour, was recommended by a friend.  (My son played at a friend's party and was hooked).  I'm not going to link to places you can purchase the games - I hope you visit a local business or follow a link to support your favorite cause to order online.

____________________________________________________
 Anyway - life is good.  I don't have much time to blog (like I used to). I do want to rehab this blog format and bring it into the 2010s. We'll see.

The Argument

I heard part of this program last night.  It was about the storage of nuclear waste in Germany.  A reporter was touring a nuclear waste storage site with two advocates.  

What was fascinating (to me), was that despite the fact the two advocates had never met before, they were discussing this contentious issue.  (And the discussion became heated - again, complete strangers before this conversation).  Each advocate (for the opposing side) understood and anticipated the other person's argument.

It reminded me of the sword fight scene in "The Princess Bride" - where Inigo Montoya and "the Dread Pirate Roberts" talk about the fighting moves they're using.

I realized - I've seen this before.  I see it all the time when people discuss mormonism on the internet (or elsewhere). I've read it in discussions between former and current mormons.  Two people who may or may not have access to the same sources - who may or may not be aware of all the sources.  Who (probably) disagree on the meanings of basic terms (like feminism).

At one point in the nuclear waste story, someone said "Your side has never admitted that they're wrong.  Name one thing that your side has admitted was wrong".

Are all controversial subjects like this?  When two side of people feel passionately about an issue?  Does it always devolve into always and never - rife with assumptions on both sides?

In the mormon/former mormon world, particularly on the internets - the answer is yes.

Time Constraints, Blogging and Miscellany

Recently I've been engaging in introspection about this blog; what I want to say, what I want to say publicly. Not that I ever had much of a filter.  But now I have some fairly legitimate constraints on my time, including handwriting (on paper) potential blog entries.  Note the attached example. 

handwritten post

I am not near a computer during the time when I have a moment to think about what to write.  Or near a personal computer.  So pen and paper it is, how I learned to write and turn in papers.  The time impact is a more significant filter of sorts; I've never intended to have a theme blog; writing primarily about working in IT, being a mom, being a former mormon woman, politics, boundaries and mental health issues, relationships, living in the midwest, etc.

So I'm navel-gazing, setting goals and prioritizing.  I appreciate my handful of readers who have stuck with this blog over the years.  Before time became a constraint, I'd always write about what I felt like, without thinking too hard about it.  I refuse to spend too much time analyzing my purpose here.


All this is to say, you'll probably see very similar content from me, only less often.  There is still quite a lot going on in my life, just not so much that I have the time and inclination to discuss here.  I know I'm friends with some of my long term readers on a certain social networking site (despite it's popularity, I refuse to promote it, it can pay for that itself ).   I'm always happy to chat about what's going on, specifics that I'm not comfortable sharing here.  This is an open invite to that social networking site, by the way.  

Here are some posts I thought about writing and haven't had the chance to.  

Zinnia from the garden

*This Zinnia I grew from a seed
*The recipe for a Greek salad that I make
*Going swimming with my kids
*Cleaning my house to the Book of Mormon musical
*Up in the Air, the book vs. the movie (I preferred the book, hands down)
*Still love Sinead O'Connor
*Discussing shaving my head with my kids (they were not amused)

Four Years; Still semi-anonymous

I'm not generally one for blog navel-gazing, but  I wanted to mark this milestone.  I spent four years in high school and college, and this period of time seemed to go much faster. Time moved slowly then.  I think it does when one is not completely in charge.  With more choice and opportunity comes less boredom and time for reflection. This, by the way, is a photo of me in a globe in a local garden. 

So in the past four years, what have I realized?  I still have no answers.  But the past four years have also been a time of profound change(s) for me; much like those years in high school and college.  Some good changes, some not so good - but on the whole, life is pretty sweet.

Thanks for hanging around with me and sharing your comments.

I still really like this medium, and plan on keeping it up for the time being.

I stand by my decision to remain semi-anonymous - to share this space with some people, but without my real name.  I have no desire to have my writing come up as the first search when my legal name is googled, for potential employers or sixth grade acquaintances.   If you have stumbled here from various places, welcome.  I simply didn't want to send an e-mail announcing this space four years ago, and I find I still like the way this works now.  I suppose I'll change  when this stops working.

twitter - I caved

I joined twitter (I know.  I know!)  You can see the tweets on the sidebar - as well as follow me at #aerin64 (I think). 

twitter seems rather trendy at the moment, and I'm not typically someone who keeps up with every trend.  But this gives me a way to post smaller posts (from my phone). 

The size limit may be difficult for me as well, since brevity is not my strong suit.

I have more than three blog posts I'm ruminating on currently, but finding time in front of my home computer when I'm not exhausted is difficult.  So we'll see how this works. 

Where I'm at

Life is interesting.

I'm not ignoring the blogging world, and I haven't lost interest (yet).

Honestly, I'm simply busier than I have been in awhile. I had some time (and unfettered access) to the internet, and now that appears to have subsided due to various internet filters.

I'm fortunate to be where I am, still employed, attempting to keep up with various blogs/sites on my phone. But reading on one's phone is not the same (for me yet) as reading on a proper screen. I am adjusting.

And yes, I also know I'm fortunate as hell to have a phone where I can still read some of what I like to keep tabs on.

Frankly, that's where I'm at, at the moment. Reminded of how much I have to be grateful for (quite a lot) but also some nagging distracting things that I would love to vent about.

In the end, however, life is still pretty sweet - despite the drought recently.

There has, in fact, been a physical drought where I live - I should post a photo of the lawn that hasn't been mowed in two months. The not mowing is great - the allergies and parched landscape are not so great. And so it goes, right?

Pre-school post

I have a post up at Rational Moms about the Christian pre-school my kids attended.  Check it out!

False Intimacy

I just stumbled upon foxy's blog (hi!). This is a quote from her post:

"She and I were talking about blogging and the false intimacy it can sometimes foster with people. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to meet people who know many of your darker secrets.."

I think this is a really interesting point (that, of course, I have additional thoughts about). It leads me to think all sorts of things about privacy, intimacy and friendship.

Having met (face to face) people I only knew from online was a very odd experience. I met up with some people from a former mormon listserve I was on (long time ago).

And figuring out how many people know about say, your blog, is always interesting. Or how many people that you've told about your blog that are actually reading it.

I was struck (at least then) by how much you can know about a person through what they write - but how much writing leaves out. There is much more to a person than their blog (or what they write on a message board). And this is seven years ago.

On the other hand, it (my online presence) is not terribly dissimilar to other social arenas in my life. Various people know various things about me. Most everyone I work with currently remembers when I was pregnant (wasn't too long ago) and asks after my kids. My kids' photos are on my desk, along with a wedding photo. (As an aside, it's still funny to me how most people still think my siblings are my college friends...they find it hard to believe I have so many siblings).

I am not trying to blog about my work here. I'm just saying, some people know things about me because we work together. And that might also create a sense of false intimacy. I am also friends with people I work with, and friends with people I worked with in the past. It is also interesting what questions co-workers will feel comfortable asking.

It can be odd to have those conversations with friends to say - did you mean to say this? Is that what you meant? Or to have someone ask me if I meant what I said. And for the record, I really appreciate it when people do this - ask me for clarification. Because I have been known to stick my foot in my mouth - and I may make an off the cuff remark that is not what I meant to say. Or gives the wrong impression about my beliefs or ideas (or my respect for various people in my life).

This is a good reminder, because I read quite a few blogs. There is certainly no promise of anonymity here (or anywhere). There is also no promise of intimacy. It is good to remember that there are lots of people out there reading, who may have a host of different reactions. And that self-disclosure is not the entire picture. I am much more than what I choose to share here, and so many more people are as well.

Not gone, just on vacation

I'm at my parents' home, resting and relaxing (as much as possible) with two three year olds. We're going to parks, museums, etc.

Hope to be back in by next week when I can share the insanity of babysitting my two three year olds, my cousin's three year old and his six week old son (who isn't sleeping OR eating well). I also had the fabulous idea of taking all four of them to a friend's birthday party - that lasted around an hour and a half!

How do parents with triplets do it? I have NO idea. Six hours was a lot for me.

Blogs!!!

Yes - I've mentioned before that I have this horrible habit of googling people's names. Try it sometime. It's fascinating. One of my sisters, the doctor, tells a funny story that she stopped googling people's names when she found one of her ex-boyfriend's blogs - where he described strange sex acts. Then she googled another ex-boyfriend, to find out he had been killed by a drunk driver.

Well, I have not yet been warned off this practice. Yet.

So last night I found the blogs of two friends, one from high school. He wasn't a good friend at all, but a friend of a friend. We ran in the same circle of friends, if that makes sense. Haven't seen him in over ten years. But there was his blog - complete with flickr photos and everything. Funny how you look at a flickr photo for a minute thinking "I know this person" and then you realize, oh my goodness, that's X!!! Perhaps that's just me.

Then I found the blog of another friend. He eschews the weblog format (even has that in his description) and doesn't talk (too much) about personal goings-on. What I find fascinating is just how political his blog is. I don't remember him being all that political. Things change in ten years, I suppose.

Yes, there are reasons I'm not linking to either blog - again - it's my very boring privacy hangup. I was discussing this blog with my husband the other day. He said, "Well, I could google your name and find your blog." I replied - "No, you couldn't. Thank you very much. You couldn't find it. You wanna bet?"

I have this absurd pride in that. Other people can blog with their real names and post real photos and that's ok. I choose not to, for various reasons. Including some odd ex-boyfriends (although none as scary as chansons but other people I just don't want to share my thoughts with. Also - I have some thoughts I'd rather not share with my co-workers and some IRL friends. So.

So now I'm curious if there are other friends who have blogs - some who also have my privacy hangup or not. We'll see. It's a strange road to tread. Also to determine what someone will share online and what they won't.

Have you had any odd discoveries googling people's names? Have you found any odd blogs of former friends/coworkers?

Nothing to say

So, it is actually quite rare for me not to have an opinion on something - or to not have something to say. The other day, I tried to think of something I did not have a pro or negative opinion about, and I really can't think of anything. Maybe breath mints. I am not sure I have a pro or con opinion on breath mints. But that's about it.

I actually have quite a few topics on my list to blog about. Bed rest, Edgar Lee Masters, my current book club selection and sexism in the 60s, changing one's mind, growing apart friendships, my stunning lack of tact, etc.

But at this very moment, I just feel like blogging about anything would be flippant.

As I've mentioned before, some events are just way too much for me to deal with emotionally. One of those events would be the horrific tragedy yesterday in VA.

But there's not much I can say about that event. Except to have a short personal moment of silence.

I'm not sure what moments of silence mean - but typically they help me to focus and to think about what happened. I feel they are a means of honor - honoring the people who we've lost, honoring the family members and friends who have lost loved ones.

As I mentioned here, I'm still searching for why bad things happen, why evil exists. I don't think I'll ever have an answer.