Thursday, November 29, 2007

Take all the time you need

A few years ago, in therapy, my therapist mentioned with a particular issue that I could take as much time as I needed to deal with an issue.

I think that is an incredible piece of wisdom.

To often in our culture, we have this need for immediate action or gratification. It's been criticized for years. We feel like if we don't make a decision - who knows what could happen. That we might go down the wrong path and have to backtrack.

Or even more frightening, with as short as life is, who knows if our loved ones will be around when we make up our minds.

These are difficult questions. But in my experience, answers eventually come. As we stew over what's going on, after having slept on the questions - it makes it easier to reason what decision we will make. Some of this may involve outside research, feedback from friends. And we may change our minds.

But with loss, depression, alcoholism - or with a host of other issues - why should we have to come to a conclusion immediately? Eventually, yes, it is important to address things and move on - but does it have to be done right now?

A former boss gave the advice that it was important that a company was at least moving in the right direction. And I think as long as any of us are at least moving in the right direction (at least the right direction for us) - that's what is critical.


Anonymous said...

An incredible piece of wisdom indeed. Many times in my life I have rushed in to "fix" something or force it to immediate conclusion when waiting would have yielded a much better outcome with far less angst. I think you hit on another important thing as well: the freedom to change your mind.

Anonymous said...

In business I pride myself on making quick decisions but I think your advice is good for personal consumption.

In business everyone expects everything now and any decision that takes too long is seen as weakness.

On the personal side you are right it is important to take time with the issues in our lives. Too many times we rush into things and regret it. I am in the process of making some major decisions and I am really taking my time with it, and waiting for the still small voice to confirm the desires of my heart. :)

Aerin said...

Thanks NN.

Az Awakening - I think it depends on what kind of business you are in. So decisions (in IT) need to be split second - others really need an understanding of why things are the way that they are. All too often, new managers come in with great ideas - never asking why they hadn't been implemented before or why they may have failed. OR an understanding of politics - who is friends outside work with which higher ups. I guess it just depends on the type of decision.