too much

I swear, I was never a huge Dave Matthews Band fan, but it was on all the time during my years in college.  Hearing the songs from the mid-90s albums really takes me back.  The song Too much was on this album, Crash. 

A good friend pointed out to me that I tend to do too much, and then get sick.  And, what drive me even more bonkers is that it's true! 

There really appears to be a correlation there.  Perhaps it's that I'm not good at taking a break (at all), and that even when I set boundaries, I still feel guilty about saying no. sigh. 

My kids are missing the birthday party of a friend this weekend, and I feel guilty about that.  Even though we had plans, even though it's really okay when I think about it logically.

It is hard to be a mom, a wife, a friend, a family member and work full time.   Not to mention the things I want to do outside of my relationships.

Some days I feel like I have balance, and other times I just can't find it. I keep trying to prioritize, and some days that works. 

Fortunately, I just keep looking at what I'm doing, and think what can I let go of.  What can I stop doing.  And there are always things there. I keep thinking this adult thing, this mom thing will be effortless, that I'll be able to do everything I want to.  And it's just not possible.