A college friend of mine observed that she had known that I had been raised mormon, but at the time she didn't think anything of that.
She mentioned she had thought it was another mainstream religion, much like the Presbyterians or the Methodists. I left mormonism before attending college, although my name was still officially on the LDS/mormon books.
And it is, of course, partially true. Partially because I believe mormons are sort of like mainstream Christian religions.
And partially because I didn't really want to talk about all that ways that mormonism is NOT like a mainstream Christian religion. And this is definitely a topic I could and still can discuss for hours on end. I will probably post more about that at another time.
I've spoken a little about my attitudes towards mormonism and my own experience here (one thing), here(Mitt Romney and mormon doctrine) and here (to each their own).
One of the ways that mormonism is NOT like mainstream Christian religions is that they excommunicate members for apostasy.
The practice is still alive and kicking, as it appears that my friend John from mind on fire may shortly be excommunicated.
The farther away from faithful mormonism I get, the more that I forget about this type of stuff.
But really - when is the LDS church going to realize that it's a bad idea to "fire" your voluntary members?
It's one thing to take this step when someone is a violent criminal or convicted felon. To request that if they are still an active part of the community - to reduce their activity to protect other members of the community.
It's quite another to request that someone leave a community simply because they're saying something you don't like. And they're not speaking hate speech. They're simply stating their point of view and their experience.
The reasons behind "firing" volunteers who say something you don't like is difficult to discern (and changes depending on who you are talking to). Supposedly, in John's case, he was revealing secrets that he had promised not to reveal.
Honestly, it's hard to imagine the Christ from the King James' Version of the bible acting this way.
From my understanding, Christ's message (i.e. the new commandment) was "love one another".
It really wasn't a message of "keep these secrets, or else".
His message was "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Now, whether or not I personally believe Christ was a historical figure is not a factor in this debate - simply that this is my interpretation of what he is quoted saying in the bible.
The theory is that by excommunicating dissidents, LDS church leaders are maintaining discipline within the church.
That sounds strikingly familiar to what happened to Galileo Galilei, who was excommunicated from the Roman Catholic church for suggesting that the earth was not the center of the universe.
This is an article from the pbs special on the mormons about excommunication (for my readers who weren't familiar with the process). This is the wikipedia article about the practice, with other religions noted.
Do I believe the LDS church has the right to excommunicate its members? Yes.
People also have the right to burn books, that doesn't mean I agree with the practice.
Do I think excommunication for free speech stays in line with Christian theory and theology (noted above)? No. Particularly when the free speech is simply vocalizing one's own opinions and experience.
Do I think organizations have a right to protect their trade secrets? Yes.
But again, I don't think this falls into line with the message of Christ from the bible. I'm not sure that Christ (as written in the KJV) would agree that keeping trade secrets are essential for salvation.
Or that keeping secrets are essential for someone to remain in a community or congregation.
And most importantly, that the church leaders could determine whether or not someone should be saved - or if they had sinned.
In the very least, he (Christ) is reported to have said:
(KJV Matthew chapter 7, verse 1 - from the Sermon on the Mount)
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and
then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s
eye.
My sympathy to John and his family through this process. I stand behind what I wrote that it takes courage and strength to live with integrity - whatever that means for my various readers.
Showing posts with label secrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label secrets. Show all posts
Friday, June 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Books I've read recently
I've actually had some time to read recently - two for book club, two on my own.
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
This book had a fascinating premise. The basic plot involves a doctor in the 60s who delivers his own twins in a snowstorm. His wife is in a drugged haze and only the doctor's closest nurse is at the delivery. When he realizes that his daughter has Down Syndrome, he decides to send her to an institution. He also lies to his wife, and tells her their daughter died. Their son survives. Disgusted by the nature of the institution, the nurse chooses to raise the daughter as her own. The book follows the lives of the families, the basis behind the father's decision and lies.
I will say, the characterizations were sometimes a bit stretched. Some of the events seemed improbable. I will admit to being a literary snob - expecting unique and full fleshed out characters with every novel. To my mind, one scene was very contrived, as if "they all woke up and it was a dream". It seemed like an obvious plot device to move the book along. I won't mention what it was, but if you read the book, it's not hard to determine.
What I did appreciate, however, was the notion of how damaging some family secrets can be. Back in the day, families kept silent about many things. Adoption, alcoholism, mental illness, mental disability, ancestry, etc. Sick as our secrets definitely applies here. And in the book, it's obvious that this secret impacted each of the main characters lives. I'd like to think that we are more open today, that we are more willing to face these issues and the supposed embarrassment they might cause.
I will say, in terms of secrets, I do think there are some things better left unsaid. Obviously, in terms of this blog, I don't often take that advice. But as a parent, and a friend, it's hard to know where that line is. But in each decision, a person has to weigh the costs and benefits. And most certainly, with the above list of adoption, mental illness, physical illnesses, death, etc. - I believe fully that a family should be as open as possible.
Which leads me to the second book I've read:
Secret Girl by Molly Bruce Jacobs
In the not so distant past, it was common to institutionalize the mentally disabled. Even today, some Americans find out that they had siblings, family members they never knew they had who had been institutionalized. This was the case for Molly Bruce Jacobs.
Her sister was institutionalized after birth. The author didn't know of her existence until she was thirteen, and didn't visit her until she was in her 30s. The memoir follows her life, as the author struggles to make sense of this impossible choice. She works to develop a relationship with her sister and understand this secret's impact on her life and her alcoholism.
It is an unbelievably sad and honest memoir. It tells how an adult understands and accepts their parents' actions and accepts and forgives their own actions and motivations. Molly wasn't defending her parents' actions, but by writing the memoir and developing a relationship with her sister - she was trying to make things right. As right as she could make them. Just like any of us, knowing we can't make up for the past, but trying to do the best we can with what we have.
On from family secrets/dysfunction:
Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko
wikipedia entry about the novel
This is much lighter than the other two books. It's sci-fi/fantasy - good guys vs. vampires, light vs. dark. There is definitely a tradition of Bulgakov here, I don't get all the references but I'm pretty certain they are there. Like the best sci-fi books, there isn't a clear line between good and evil. Everyone is just doing their best, what they think is the best.
While there are some great female characters in this book (like Tiger Cub and Olga), it doesn't pass the two females having a conversation on screen test. At least not in this first book. There is, of course, one scene where Anton switches bodies with Olga - and has a conversation with his love interest, but that doesn't count (to my mind). That scenario is actually very Russian - from my experiences there. Many of my American professors would say that Russian culture (at least in the mid-90s) was as if the sexual revolution never happened here. It still may be true. At least, women are required to wear makeup, care about their appearance - otherwise they might be lesbians.
Okay, perhaps that isn't fair with the novel, but there is definitely a Russian cultural tradition there. And, with all the comments about switching bodies and Anton struggling with high heels and makeup - and other restaurant goers saying that Anton looked butch - it's not a stretch to my mind. I may be mistaken - but that was my impression. The women in the novel (and movies) do have a central role, but it was some of those stereotypes that really bothered me.
So aside from American cultural issues, it was a fascinating insight into current Russian culture (despite being about vampires). The reader knows that Anton's side, the light, is fighting a losing battle, but you can't help but root for them.
Last but not least is:
The Painted Drum by Louise Erdrich
I've always like Louise Erdrich's work. She has an amazing grasp on language. She also has stunning insight into humans and their relationships. This was one of the books we discussed at book club, and one of the participants praised the use of native american culture and lore. It is, sadly, a perspective and story that is not often told. Just as with the first two books, some parts were particularly sad. One or two of the characters/sub plots did seem out of place, but all in all, an interesting read.
The issues she discusses of repatriation are incredibly important and relevant. It is difficult to decide which community an object belongs to, particularly a sacred object. In the novel, the drum has an intensely spiritual connection - and it restores community (either magically or coincidentally, depending on your perspective).
I think the nature of spiritual objects, respect, scientific study is one I will save for another blog post. But I believe these issues are very important. For many of these native cultures, their objects and culture were stolen. And genocide was committed against some of the native american communities by the United States government. There's no other way to view the small pox laced blankets or the trail of tears.
I found this article on the Smithsonian website when I was researching this topic. The author clearly understands how controversial this topic can be. From what she writes, I can also see the museum and learning perspective. That there may be some history that can be gleaned from specific objects and processes. But only when all parties agree to allow the research and respect is the foundation of the research.
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
This book had a fascinating premise. The basic plot involves a doctor in the 60s who delivers his own twins in a snowstorm. His wife is in a drugged haze and only the doctor's closest nurse is at the delivery. When he realizes that his daughter has Down Syndrome, he decides to send her to an institution. He also lies to his wife, and tells her their daughter died. Their son survives. Disgusted by the nature of the institution, the nurse chooses to raise the daughter as her own. The book follows the lives of the families, the basis behind the father's decision and lies.
I will say, the characterizations were sometimes a bit stretched. Some of the events seemed improbable. I will admit to being a literary snob - expecting unique and full fleshed out characters with every novel. To my mind, one scene was very contrived, as if "they all woke up and it was a dream". It seemed like an obvious plot device to move the book along. I won't mention what it was, but if you read the book, it's not hard to determine.
What I did appreciate, however, was the notion of how damaging some family secrets can be. Back in the day, families kept silent about many things. Adoption, alcoholism, mental illness, mental disability, ancestry, etc. Sick as our secrets definitely applies here. And in the book, it's obvious that this secret impacted each of the main characters lives. I'd like to think that we are more open today, that we are more willing to face these issues and the supposed embarrassment they might cause.
I will say, in terms of secrets, I do think there are some things better left unsaid. Obviously, in terms of this blog, I don't often take that advice. But as a parent, and a friend, it's hard to know where that line is. But in each decision, a person has to weigh the costs and benefits. And most certainly, with the above list of adoption, mental illness, physical illnesses, death, etc. - I believe fully that a family should be as open as possible.
Which leads me to the second book I've read:
Secret Girl by Molly Bruce Jacobs
In the not so distant past, it was common to institutionalize the mentally disabled. Even today, some Americans find out that they had siblings, family members they never knew they had who had been institutionalized. This was the case for Molly Bruce Jacobs.
Her sister was institutionalized after birth. The author didn't know of her existence until she was thirteen, and didn't visit her until she was in her 30s. The memoir follows her life, as the author struggles to make sense of this impossible choice. She works to develop a relationship with her sister and understand this secret's impact on her life and her alcoholism.
It is an unbelievably sad and honest memoir. It tells how an adult understands and accepts their parents' actions and accepts and forgives their own actions and motivations. Molly wasn't defending her parents' actions, but by writing the memoir and developing a relationship with her sister - she was trying to make things right. As right as she could make them. Just like any of us, knowing we can't make up for the past, but trying to do the best we can with what we have.
On from family secrets/dysfunction:
Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko
wikipedia entry about the novel
This is much lighter than the other two books. It's sci-fi/fantasy - good guys vs. vampires, light vs. dark. There is definitely a tradition of Bulgakov here, I don't get all the references but I'm pretty certain they are there. Like the best sci-fi books, there isn't a clear line between good and evil. Everyone is just doing their best, what they think is the best.
While there are some great female characters in this book (like Tiger Cub and Olga), it doesn't pass the two females having a conversation on screen test. At least not in this first book. There is, of course, one scene where Anton switches bodies with Olga - and has a conversation with his love interest, but that doesn't count (to my mind). That scenario is actually very Russian - from my experiences there. Many of my American professors would say that Russian culture (at least in the mid-90s) was as if the sexual revolution never happened here. It still may be true. At least, women are required to wear makeup, care about their appearance - otherwise they might be lesbians.
Okay, perhaps that isn't fair with the novel, but there is definitely a Russian cultural tradition there. And, with all the comments about switching bodies and Anton struggling with high heels and makeup - and other restaurant goers saying that Anton looked butch - it's not a stretch to my mind. I may be mistaken - but that was my impression. The women in the novel (and movies) do have a central role, but it was some of those stereotypes that really bothered me.
So aside from American cultural issues, it was a fascinating insight into current Russian culture (despite being about vampires). The reader knows that Anton's side, the light, is fighting a losing battle, but you can't help but root for them.
Last but not least is:
The Painted Drum by Louise Erdrich
I've always like Louise Erdrich's work. She has an amazing grasp on language. She also has stunning insight into humans and their relationships. This was one of the books we discussed at book club, and one of the participants praised the use of native american culture and lore. It is, sadly, a perspective and story that is not often told. Just as with the first two books, some parts were particularly sad. One or two of the characters/sub plots did seem out of place, but all in all, an interesting read.
The issues she discusses of repatriation are incredibly important and relevant. It is difficult to decide which community an object belongs to, particularly a sacred object. In the novel, the drum has an intensely spiritual connection - and it restores community (either magically or coincidentally, depending on your perspective).
I think the nature of spiritual objects, respect, scientific study is one I will save for another blog post. But I believe these issues are very important. For many of these native cultures, their objects and culture were stolen. And genocide was committed against some of the native american communities by the United States government. There's no other way to view the small pox laced blankets or the trail of tears.
I found this article on the Smithsonian website when I was researching this topic. The author clearly understands how controversial this topic can be. From what she writes, I can also see the museum and learning perspective. That there may be some history that can be gleaned from specific objects and processes. But only when all parties agree to allow the research and respect is the foundation of the research.
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