Freak out

So it's always nice when you realize that you have changed, that you are reacting differently to stimuli.

I got a great taste of that this week. My mother in law offered to pay for personal training sessions for my husband. Which is great - they are very expensive. And the way that our gym works, our credit card is billed every month for our membership.

My husband went for his first training session earlier this week and signed the contract. Everything so far is great. Until I checked the bank balance the next morning and we were -$200. Instead of waiting two or three days to send the payment through, they took it out that day.

Now, it's wonderful that I can actually log into my bank account - and perhaps I'm telling too much about our finances.

The point of all this is that a year or so ago, I would have flipped out. The idea of bouncing a check is quite terrifying for me. Particularly in this instance, for something I had absolutely no control over.

But instead of freaking out, going crazy, calling my husband when I found out (7:30 in the morning) - I took a deep breath. I thought about the worst thing that could happen, which would be that we would have to pay a bounced check fee. Or, if we were going to buy a house in the next year or so (which we're not), it would show up on the credit report.

I got ahold of my husband when I knew he was probably up and had drunk a cup of coffee, he took the check to the bank and deposited it. Turned out that we didn't go to a negative balance after all.

It's freeing to think of things in a different perspective. What I might have thought was a crisis was in fact, not a crisis.