First Mother's Day

On my first mother's day, I was still very, very pregnant.  Many doctors induce moms of twins by thirty five weeks.  Not my doctor! I was still on strict bed rest and taking terbutaline (an anti-contraction medication).

To say I was miserable would be an understatement.  I couldn't leave my house.  I couldn't go out to eat.  I couldn't stand up to shower. 

And being pregnant is very uncomfortable.  I think people (particularly men) forget that.  At our birth class, the partners tried on the fake pregnancy belly.  The first comment from each person was "Man, I have to pee!"  It's as if one little part of understanding and empathy dawned on their faces. 

I had sharp back pain; many of my friends who have been pregnant say the same thing.  I could barely sleep (and that's not a problem I normally have). 

So I spent my first mother's day trying to psychically tell my babies and body to start contractions. It didn't work (of course).  They were born two weeks later.

More than a few people praised me later for carrying the twins to thirty eight weeks.  The compliment felt strange, as it was something I had no control over.  I had no control over conceiving twins, no control over carrying them to thirty eight weeks (not really).  I suppose I could have not taken the medication, or snuck out of the house and gone running. 

But I know twin moms (and other moms) who would have done anything to keep their baby/babies gestating just one day longer.  Some spent weeks on magnesium in a hospital bed. 

While each person has some control over the birth, pregnancy and parenthood process, there is so much out of our control.  That's what I like to remember on Mother's Day.