Tuesday, June 22, 2010


My husband's grandfather passed away last week.  I've been going through a range of emotions (for various reasons).  His funeral was this past weekend.

I was so touched that two of his granddaughters were pallbearers.

Now, perhaps I simply haven't been to many funerals with caskets, or perhaps I've just been hanging around really conservative religious people.  But traditionally I've only seen men surrounding the casket.  And yes, I realize that caskets are heavy.

But I was impressed by the idea that *I* could be a pallbearer for some of the people I love.  I appreciate the idea that you can honor a loved one by carrying their body to its final resting place.  I'm not sure how many people I know will choose to be buried this way, not cremated or to go through green burial.

For me, it's just another part of life that I'm not shut out of.  I wouldn't have to stand back, I could participate. 

For the record, I'm going to start campaigning for this now; to be able to be a pallbearer at their funeral.  I do have one particular person in mind; but there are others as well. 

In the end, I won't make a scene, but it would certainly bring peace and closure for me.  Culturally, being a pallbearer is a gesture of love, honor and respect.  I'm heartened that women are (now) allowed to be part of that tradition. 


Kathryn said...

When I was 19, I lost an older friend, and she had all female pallbearers. I thought that was pretty cool.

Freckle Face Girl said...

I like traditional male roles being rocked too. That is why I picked a woman to perform our wedding ceremony. It is always good to shake things up.

Aerin said...

Thanks Kathryn - I think that is so cool. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks FFG - I think having a woman perform your marriage ceremony is great as well.

laura said...

You know, now that I think of it, I have never seen a woman pallbearer. I think that's an excellent trend to break.