What you do speaks so loud

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a parent and a person, there are many things I try to be mindful of.  Sometimes it seems like we get so caught up in whatever is going on, with "fighting fires" - there isn't time to think about where we spend our time and what we value. 

Being a parent (and a concerned person) is a difficult thing to be.  You want to be the best you can be, you want to spend as much time making sure that your children have a safe, healthy and happy environment.  Or as a person, that those less fortunate have increased opportunities - or to give back the gifts you've received.  You want to be a contributing member of your community and society in general.

Not, of course, at the expense of our own health and well-being.  So that's the balancing act. 

I've been meeting friends for coffee every few weeks. It's nice, really nice actually.  My daughter, ever inquisitive, asks me about them, asks me why I go. I want to keep some friendships, some notion of myself through this process of being a mom and a full time employee. 

What I hope my actions are saying is that I spend a certain amount of time, each day, every weekend focused exclusively on my kids.  And some of the time I spend without them, is good for both of us.  They learn some independence - interact with other people - and I'm able to get some perspective (breathing room).

So I think each parent deserves a certain amount of time to themselves, to pursue their own interests.  The line is difficult, however, because things can swing the other way - a person can become too self-absorbed.  And not meet their children's basic needs.  But what a person really does show what they value.

The older I get (I really need to start a "the older I get" tag) the more I realize that what a person does is just as important as what they claim to value.  That's not a stick for a person to beat themselves up with ("I should be doing more for the country, the environment, my kids, my friends, etc.). 

It's just something to think about - what are the consequences of my actions?  What does this say to loved ones?  And to continuously think about and re-evaluate.  There are no easy answers.