The Moment

The first time I felt like a mom was not the first time I felt morning all day sickness. Or the first time I felt one or both of my babies move. After the exhaustion of bed rest and labor, things were a bit surreal and awe-inspiring that first day.

(As an aside, some days I do still pinch myself to remember that yes, I am a mom or yes, I'm a college graduate. Some days it's easier than others).

I just remember the moment that I realized I could do it. My twins were a little over a day old. My husband left the hospital to go home and get a full night's sleep. He had a sinus infection (funny how that type of thing never makes it into shows/films about birth and labor).

So there I am, sitting up in a hospital bed, with both newborns. I hadn't quite gotten the knack of carrying them both around at the same time (that came later)! I had one baby on my lap, and another right beside me (there are rail guards on the bed, in case anyone was nervous about it). I had turned on the tv and was watching bits of some random popular sci-fi movie (I do remember which particular sci-fi movie, if you must know).

It doesn't sound like it would be a bonding moment, but it was.

It was the knowledge that here I was, a mom, with two beautiful healthy babies. And I could do it. And that the three of us would spend lots of time together - having all sorts of adventures.

I finally felt grounded, like no matter how much had changed, some things would still be the same.