tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2738167594002469989.post6536385330947861979..comments2023-10-24T03:33:55.572-07:00Comments on Aerin's Cranberry Blog: Cultural ChangeAerinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11142518259771067132noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2738167594002469989.post-75207086874056991952008-02-15T04:43:00.000-08:002008-02-15T04:43:00.000-08:00This is my favorite hobby horse, but I'll try to n...This is my favorite hobby horse, but I'll try to not to go overboard on my comment. I probably will anyway.<BR/><BR/>I actively encourage my girls to expect careers when they are adults (as well as my boys). I think telling women they can choose to depend on a man as long as they have a backup plan infantalizes them. I tell my children that it is the responsiblity of parents to care for their children - this means providing money for neccessities and or course physical care and upbringing. I don't believe there is any significant benefit for children that justifies a parent not supporting themselves and their children financially. I hate it so very much that women are made to feel that they have to choose between being a mother and earning a living, when fathers are never viewed that way.Floating in the Milkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00385216656081167227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2738167594002469989.post-66838042198127366992008-02-08T06:01:00.000-08:002008-02-08T06:01:00.000-08:00Thanks Laura. Yes - I hear what you're saying abo...Thanks Laura. Yes - I hear what you're saying about fulltime motherhood. And the difficult choices parents need to make. It's true that there may be a gap in the resume which makes it difficult. For many families, it's a very rough decision. <BR/><BR/>I guess (trying to not offend anyone) - I'm just trying to promote the idea that everyone needs an education - or to think about how they will support themselves. I'm saying in our society, you can't depend on someone else to always be there - always pay the bills. You may not have to look for a job/career later in life. You may not have to use that education. But at least you have it or are thinking about it as a possibility. <BR/><BR/>Not just assuming that (again, reinforced by some family/religious messages) as a woman, you don't need an education or to think about a career because you will get married, have kids and your husband will support you. These messages were given with a past generation - and I didn't think they were still around. But they are!<BR/><BR/>I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she will be able to (somehow) continue her education (even with young children) and/or support them as best as she can. Sometimes it seems like there are no good options for moms in our society. And picking up the pieces after a controlling relationship - I have a tremendous amount of compassion for her.Aerinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11142518259771067132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2738167594002469989.post-25252064981666374992008-02-07T19:18:00.000-08:002008-02-07T19:18:00.000-08:00I agree as well, with one caveat: I don't know tha...I agree as well, with one caveat: I don't know that having an education and a career, or potential career, is necessarily helpful if you choose to do full time motherhood for awhile. It's often very hard to get back into the workforce if you haven't been in it for awhile. Your skills are often considered to be not up to snuff; you've got a big gap in your resume.<BR/><BR/>And then there are situations like that of my friend whose ex-husband would not let her work. She also was never able to finish college, for a variety of reasons. And now she's got more small children to care for. It's a hard one.laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05893550834832658123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2738167594002469989.post-59350940191574815512008-02-07T07:12:00.000-08:002008-02-07T07:12:00.000-08:00Thanks FFG. I just don't understand where the dis...Thanks FFG. <BR/><BR/>I just don't understand where the disconnect is. I guess I'm looking at an emotional issue logically - which never works....Aerinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11142518259771067132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2738167594002469989.post-85772117931933762092008-02-05T07:56:00.000-08:002008-02-05T07:56:00.000-08:00I completely agree with both points. I also think...I completely agree with both points. I also think that many women stay with horrible or even not so nice husbands just because they can't support themselves. It is a horrible situation to be in. I can't imagine feeling trapped. <BR/><BR/>As for religion being a part of that, you are right. When my parents were getting divorced, there were lots of church members who suddenly wouldn't/couldn't talk to us (their kids). We were adults at the time, but you could see how uncomfortable they felt even looking at us. That was a big turn off for the Mormon culture.Freckle Face Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13324960438835000817noreply@blogger.com